10.22.06
Posted in Feminism, Irish Politics at 7:49 pm by Sarah
They were all at it during the week — all the sanctimonious tut-tutters using the airwaves to complain about Madonna adopting David Banda, a 13-month-old boy from Malawi.
On Thursday morning Mags Riordan, an Irish aid worker in Malawi, got in on the act on The Tubridy Show on RTE Radio. Riordan is clearly a woman of great strength and virtue. She works in what sounds like a fantastic project in Malawi helping poor children to achieve some kind of sustainable life.
I have enormous respect for people like her, but not everyone can move to Malawi and live in poor conditions helping a village full of orphaned children. So it sounded just a bit churlish of her to claim that, while she would never cast aspersions on Madonna’s maternal abilities, the phrase “fashion accessory” sprang to her mind when characterising the adoption.
Okay, so I am not entirely sure it’s natural for a woman of Madonna’s age to be writhing around in glittery leotards. But as pop stars go, what has she done that is so wrong? She has an apparently stable marriage. She is remarkably clean-living. Her children seem to be reared in a normal fashion. She’s even religious (all right, so Kabbalah is bordering on cult rather than religion, but it’s more than most of us have these days). She gives loads of money to charity, including £1.6m to Malawi.
Is it such a bad thing that, in addition to pumping money into Africa to help thousands of orphans, she also wants to pick up one of those poor children and give them a better life? Sometimes you just have to do what you can. Madonna is doing a lot. I think Riordan should be a lot less sniffy about the whole thing.
At the very least, Madonna has given enormous publicity to the appalling crisis in sub-Saharan Africa. There, millions of orphans live in squalor, if they live at all, without love and attention because there simply aren’t enough adults to go round. Riordan may even get a few extra donations this month due to the platform provided by Tubridy and Madonna.
Inter-country adoption gets dreadful abuse. Do-gooders complain about children being removed from their culture. The fact they are also being removed from economic and emotional deprivation seems to be beside the point. What do they think a child actually wants? The right to grow up in an orphanage competing for a scrap of affection or the right to a healthy life in a happy home? I know what I’d do if I visited an orphanage in Malawi. I’d sign over the SSIA and then figure out a way to bring home at least one of those children and hold them and love them. To hell with “culture” and self-flagellation over our imperialist western values.
The only people with a right to complain about Madonna are the poor unfortunates going through the invasive and endless process of adopting a child themselves. Madonna has been involved in the adoption process for several months, but it’s obvious she was able to cut a few corners. I don’t mind that really — what’s money for except to cut corners? What is unfair are the hoops through which normal prospective parents are required to jump before getting a child.
The problem is that somewhere along the line adoption has become a dirty word — nowhere more so than in Ireland. Adoption in some people’s eyes is equivalent to child-stealing. Of course, in Irish history a lot of the time adoption actually was child-stealing. How many children were taken from unfortunate mothers in those dreadful laundries and single-mother homes? Where did they go? Some were sold to America and Canada. Others were handed over to childless couples with nothing more than an assurance that the rosary was said every night. How many of those children ended up as workhorses or in the care of people completely unsuited to parenting? We’ll never know.
Many children weren’t told they were adopted and had awful trouble trying to track down their birth parents. Thus, adoption very quickly got tied up with a lot of misery and people hiding their tracks. Children didn’t know who they were and birth mothers wondered what had become of the infants they gave away. A quick read of adoption message-boards on the internet reveals extremely sad stories of adults trying to piece together their life histories. Some American and Canadian citizens have practically no information with which to begin their searches.
Then the backlash occurred. Today if a single mother suggested giving her child up for adoption, she’d be talked out of it. Prospective adoptive parents have to go through a ridiculously long procedure to adopt a child — whether Irish or foreign.
Of course, parents have to be checked out thoroughly and not just for economic background. The state has to ensure that children will go to a stable and loving home. But why does that process take anything up to five years? The waiting list to be assessed can be anything up to two years alone. But you won’t find prospective adoptive parents complaining too loudly because they don’t want to risk incurring the wrath of the social worker who has the power to grant or deny them a child.
Consider that many adoptive parents have gone through years of attempting to have their own children. It must be heartbreaking. Then they have to put up with accusations of buying children from poor countries. The rare and unfortunate cases such as that of Tristan Dowse, the Indonesian boy sent back to his orphanage, are thrown in the faces of nice ordinary couples looking for a child to love.
Just because rich westerners are seeking out children in developing countries doesn’t mean that past crimes are being repeated. Madonna may not be seeking a fashion accessory. Neither might Angelina Jolie, who has adopted an Ethiopian child. Maybe they are just trying to help. It’s not fair of us to project our sordid history onto the philanthropy of rich Americans, whose only crime appears to be being rich Americans.
Some social activists complain that the likes of Madonna perpetuate inequality. They argue that Bono’s work is more constructive, since he is trying to alter the actual infrastructure of deprivation. Bono’s fine, but I don’t think his campaigning should negate what Madonna or any other adoptive parent does. Taking a child out of deprivation and bringing them home to love is a good thing. So let’s say “thanks” instead of “why?”
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10.19.06
Posted in Uncategorized at 11:10 am by Sarah
This is cool -well- interesting. Compliments to JC for using his time so efficiently for our entertainment.
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10.18.06
Posted in Feminism at 9:18 pm by Sarah
I saw the headlines earlier in the week about the ESRI sex survey. It seemed to be as one would expect – younger people doing it more often and with more people and at a younger age than older people bla bla. Poor people have sex less often than rich people (especially the women for some reason) and rich people use more contraception.
But in desperation for column topic I decided to go mad and actually read the whole report. Here I found a fact which totally stunned me:
70% of gay men reported never having anal sex and 27% of gay men reported never having oral sex.
What are they doing? Not a whole lot! I was amazed. This totally goes against the prevailing stereotype of the promiscous gay man – they are not even doing it with their own partners. I’m not sure I could get 1300 words out of this fact for the column though. Which is how I run my life now (oooh, is that a column topic?)
Here’s another thing (whilst on the subject of gay sex) the blood transfusion board issued a request today for people to donate platelets. I’m all for that! But did you know that they won’t take blood from a man whose had ORAL sex EVER? They test all blood for HIV and other infections so I thought it was a bit mean not taking it from men who had anal sex but ORAL sex? That seems daft. Don’t they take blood from women who’ve em, you know, performed oral sex? What’s the difference? They won’t have my blood ( I’m too small – seriously – you have to weight 8 stone and they won’t take my husband’s blood because he lived in Northern Ireland until 1984 – they won’t take the blood of anyone who lived anywhere in the UK for just one year since 1980!). I think they are being very picky.
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Posted in Uncategorized at 1:20 pm by Sarah
Woah…a case in today’s paper
A man takes his wife’s anti-depressants and kills himself.
“Dr Patricia Casey, professor of psychiatry at UCD, told the inquest that someone suffering from depression with suicidal tendencies would often be too lethargic to commit suicide. But if they begin treatment with an antidepressant in the Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) group, which includes Lexapro and Prozac, their lethargy could disappear while their suicidal thoughts may remain. This may leave some people open to acting on their suicidal tendencies in the early stages of treatment with an SSRI antidepressant as it does not immediately treat the depression.”
I know a GP who told me this informally some years ago and I know there is a lot of talk in the papers about it from time to time, but just more impact when you see it like this.
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Posted in Uncategorized at 12:27 pm by Sarah
I think its ok for her to adopt the child.
1. It is not a substitute for her giving aid. She has given millions to orphanages in Malawi which helps all children.
2. This doesn’t mean that you can’t help being overwhelmed by the desire to lift one child out of it and take them home and give them a good life. I know that’s what I’d want to do. Take a child home and love him/her.
3. I guess the only people entitled to be pissed off are prospective adoptive parents who have to wait years to get a child. And to be perfectly honest, maybe it will bring attention to the fact that it takes so long to get a child when there are millions of orphans who want homes. Why should it take 5 years or even 3? 2 tops is all that should be necessary.
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Posted in Sunday Times Columns at 12:10 pm by Sarah
Normal purchase: Roma Basmati Rice in 250g bags €5.78 per Kg. Asia Market: Basmati Rice 10kg bag €12.00 – €1.20 per Kg!! ( thanks to Paddy for alerting me). Now, who knows maybe I’ll never use the stuff or it won’t have that Roma easi-cook thing and it’ll be horrible. But still – worth a try.
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Posted in Uncategorized at 11:11 am by Sarah
Denis buys 2% of Aer Lingus
Excellent! What fun. Although, I wish the journalists would stop implying this is connected with the Ryanair ad taking the piss out of him for “moving” to Malta. Denis will be in this because he intends making a stack of money out of it, and then he gets a bit zealous about the importance of competition.
Wayne O’Donoghue Sentence upheld
Good. The DPPs office made a complete mess of the case. They deserve a kick.
The Weather
Gorgeous sunny day. I woke up groggy and sleepy and irritatable. Thankfully today is a day when they are both in the creche. I opted to walk down with them instead of drive. I woke up on the way and managed to admire nature instead of recite my weariness in my head.
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10.16.06
Posted in Sunday Times Columns at 8:29 pm by Sarah
Now boys, you know I run a tight domestic ship, but I have a confession to make. I can’t be bothered filling the dishwasher anymore. It’s so complicated trying to fit everything in and sometimes I need bottles and can’t be bothered washing them in advance so I just put on a wash even when its not full. I do use the 35 degree wash and I only use a half tablet, but I still feel very guilty anytime I do this.
On the upside, I have avoided a “big shop” for the past few weeks (cos you know when you do the “big shop” you spend twice as much as you thought you would). I’ve been using up the store cupboard instead.
On the downside we put the heat on. The thermostat war has started too of course. (god how many more months of this?) I don’t know what’s wrong with him but I’d be roasting while he complains of the cold. (Maybe there is something wrong with me??? What???) However my incredibly expensive curtains are doing their job and insulation has improved immensely. He will actually agree to turning it off around 8 once the house has warmed up. I think we’ll have a return on the curtain investment within 2 years.
Also I’ve started an energy study. You know those guys, Taylor etc, studied work practices. I’ve been trying to figure out how to reduce the number of times I handle laundry. Now, one guy I know heard of a guy who had big cubby holes built in the laundry room and the clothes were taken straight from the drier or ironing board and into each person’s cubby hole. There was no putting away job and hauling clothers upstairs. Now, I wouldn’t go this far. I think clothes are better in each person’s room. HOWEVER, I was definitely over-sorting. I think I made progress today. Skipped a few parts of the process. I brought ALL the clothes upstairs in one and did one major sort. Before I used to do a half sort downstairs, another sort in our room, sort their stuff again in their rooms. It was most inefficient. I think the new way will save a lot of unncessary labour.
So the question is: Is it legitimate to devote brain power to working these things out? Surely it must be and yet, it seems so trivial. It’s my daily argument in my head.
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Posted in Uncategorized at 12:26 pm by Sarah
Oh dear, Ardmayle has a withering but funny account of our recent trip to Edinburgh. I enjoyed every minute. He forgot the bit about weeping into his Bloody Mary on Sunday when Darren broke down on the 16th Green.
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10.15.06
Posted in Domestic/Relationships at 12:19 pm by Sarah
Amazing and depressing. The opinion polls tell us three things:
1. People believe that Ahern was wrong to take the money
2. They also believe he is a competent Taoiseach and that his financial dealings do not effect his ability
3. They don’t believe Inda Kenny has equal competency.
Why do they believe this?
I think
1. They think all politicians are on the take, so no point in singling out Ahern
2. They don’t care because they believe that the country is being run properly. Since the economy is good they equate the presence of Fianna Fail with the money in their own pockets.
3. They don’t really believe that politics effect their lives anyway
4. Enda Kenny nor Fine Gael hasn’t held office since 1997, so he can’t prove that he is competent
I think
1. One is untrue, but has been effectively propagated by Fianna Fail
2. Two is untrue. While revenues are good, I believe the money is being wasted and along with it the opportunity to do great things.
3. To a certain extent this is true. On macro-economics, the politicians have little control And yet, we still need these people to decide on schools and roads and where houses are built. This stuff is important.
4. Enda can’t prove he is worthy of office until he holds however I think Stephen Collins in yesterday’s Irish Times called it correctly when he said
“Voters are impressed by politicians who seem to know what they are about, and who are capable of delivering a strong, coherent message.
One thing the Opposition has to stop doing is worrying about getting media approval or provoking criticism from political opponents. Fine Gael and Labour both appear scared to take a stand on any issue that is capable of generating hostility towards them. Yet they will only demonstrate to the voters that they are capable of government if they take a firm stand on issues that may result in short-term hostility from their natural opponents.
A case in point is the issue of immigration, which was raised by Pat Rabbitte in an Irish Times interview back in January. The general reaction in the media was bitterly hostile and the Government taunted him for deviating from the officially-accepted line. Yet the standing of Mr Rabbitte and his party rose in the next poll. It recent times the ESRI and other respected economic commentators have followed his lead and queried whether the current levels of immigration are good for the country, proving that he was right to raise the issue as a subject for rational debate.
Another case in point was the stand Enda Kenny took against the Government’s secret deal with Sinn Féin to release the killers of Garda Jerry McCabe. Many media commentators were incensed that Mr Kenny was upsetting the “peace process” but the voters endorsed him in the next poll.
One thing that is obviously not going to win the election for the Opposition is attacking Bertie Ahern, but coming up with a small number of clear and innovative policies on issues that matter is crucial.”
Finally, it has to be said, that I’d been reading John Waters and Eoghan Harris for the past few weeks and was convinced they were barmy, cos they were saying “the people don’t care”. They were right. Sigh.
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