09.04.06

The Bonny Baby Competition

Posted in Feminism at 9:32 am by Sarah

What an ordeal. But I think I pulled it off. Thankfully, since the weather didn’t start out too great, entries were down this year. Normally there are about 12-20 in each category. Yes, there are categories. I thought it was one competition. There were the Under-1s, the 1-2’s, the 2-3’s and the one I swore I would have nothing to do with: “Little Miss Trim”. There were about 6-8 in each category and only 4 in the Little Miss Trim. Parents are obviously developing some sense. And 3 of the 4 were sisters. Talk about a minefield. Oh, I glammed myself up big time. Had to look authoritative. So got out the white jeans and the white coat and high heeled boots. (Wearing white at an agricultural show is very glamorous). Hair blow dried with extra volume etc.

I suppose I should explain the set up for those who have never attended a typical Irish country show thingy. The official title of the event is the Royal Meath Agricultural Show. There are competitions for pedigree cattle, sheep, goats (they were the best IMHO), dogs (huge entry and loads of categories), various types of fowl. Then there is the “farm skills” competition run by Macra na Feirme (”Sons of Farmers” – youth wing of farming – women welcome – and youth is a loose term). So they have to do stuff with tractors, lift bails of hay around and such like. There is the usual supply of chip vans, and funfair rides (there seemed to be a lot of chairoplane type devices). Demonstrations of step dancing, oh and my favourite, the “home industries” tent. You go in and there are long tables with samples of flowers, flower arranging, vegetables, sewing, knitting, quilts, buns, cakes etc. They’ve all been judged and the proud owners/producers have been awarded prizes. Then there are the frequent announcements of the loudspeakers for so-and-so to go to the Secretary’s tent please. So, yes, its Fr. Ted.

So I introduced myself and asked for all the babies. The parents brought forth their babies and I briefly interviewed each parent (baby’s name, age etc) and made appropriate compliments. Then I instantly announced the winners based on criteria invented in the intervening seconds between interviewing the last parents and turning to the assembled, and expectant, masses. There was a first, second, third. So I gave the 2 week old baby the first prize (to general approval), the baby who had been brought by a delighted granny the 2nd prize and a random baby, who was very bonny, the 3rd prize.

For the 1-2, a mother who had not won in the baby section put forward her toddler so I made sure she got a prize this time. For the other two I made split second decisions and made sure to give one boy and one girl a prize.

For the 2-3’s, there were twins, so they got a prize and then one little girl had arrived ALL done up, in a red satin gown and tiara on her head AND sang Hey Diddle Diddle the Cat and the Fiddle. So the rigout was a bit much but, for sheer effort and public performance, she had to win. The two girls who accompanied her were either older sisters who had dolled her up or a very young mother and a sister. All contestants got sweets.

The Little Miss Trim could have been a lot worse. I saw this last year and there were about 20 entrants ALL done up. This year there were only the 4. Three sisters and another girl, who actually was very nice. I interviewed each one (age, class, did they get on with each other etc). I gave the prize to the eldest of the 3 sisters who was a very serious girl, glasses etc. She seemd totally surprised but delighted. We had to do photographs afterwards and she was an awkward little thing (in a nice way, just quiet) – not used to attention at all. So I was very pleased with myself.

Anyway, that’s it. And current debts to sister have been fulfilled for time being. Phew. Never again. It was very pressurised.

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