02.08.06
Appearances, appearances
I had visitors yesterday. An extremely nice mother and daughter who came to see my high-tech high spec kitchen as research for the daughter’s new house. I had the place gleaming from an intensive cleaning session. They were classically respectable people and I saw myself through their eyes.
As I showed them round the house with the two children in tow they bestowed one compliment after another and left utterly satisfied. In a world gone mad here was the respectable daughter of the respectable auctioneer living in her tastefully decorated home built on Daddy’s site within view of his home. Her clean well behaved children were a credit to their stay-at-home mother whose newspaper column adds spice and interest to her otherwise quiet lifestyle. They would rest easy that night.
Their obvious approval left me a little…well, it all felt very undeserved. I have the appearance of respectability and that I’ve done all the right things and made all the right choices. But I don’t feel respectable and half the time I question my choices. Half the decisions I’ve made have been the result irrational compulsion resulting from social conditioning. But then I had to admit. Maybe you look respectable because you are respectable. Yuck. I wanted to do something bold, like roll a joint or look up porn on the internet. I never set out to be a paragon of virtue, and yet, here I am.
So questions are
a) if I am respectable why don’t I feel it
b) what’s my big problem about being respectable anyway
c) hmm maybe Catholicism really does f*ck you up….note to self: reconsider schooling of children. Do I really want them learning when they are 7 that THINKING about a sin is the same as DOING the sin….
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ben said,
February 8, 2006 at 6:50 pm
This reminded me of The Onion article, “Why Can’t Anyone Tell I’m Wearing This Business Suit Ironically?”
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43032
We are all Potemkin Villages of the mind.
Sarah said,
February 8, 2006 at 8:12 pm
aaagh.
I started out laughing at the good of the respectable ladies’ view of me. Then I wondered why I felt obliged to laugh. Then I laughed at The Onion article. But then I thought…hmmm does this mean I am an a*sehole? Then I had to look up what Potemkin Village meant. (Something that appears elaborate and impressive but in actual fact lacks substance after Grigori Aleksandrovich Potemkin, who had elaborate fake villages constructed for Catherine the Great’s tours of the Ukraine and the Crimea).So I am uneducated and/or forgetful cos I am sure I had to look that up before. Then I thought, shit I am an a*sehole AND I lack substance. Do I lack substance? OH NO. However, Ben did say WE, so its not just ME. I have too much time to think…..oh god.
Pete said,
February 9, 2006 at 12:25 pm
It all sounds like the perfectly normal paranoid reaction of a woman whose house has been inspected by another women. I don’t understand it, but I’ve seen it before.
Talking of Onion articles, I saw this one recently and thought “Sarah would hate this” : http://www.theonion.com/content/node/44917 . See, I do think of you!
Sarah said,
February 9, 2006 at 12:39 pm
that’s sooooo funny. I didn’t hate it. I loved it. I mean, a) you could say the same for husbands and b) I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!
THIS IS OUR SECRET NIGHTMARE! We are not special. We just fulfil a role…………………aaaagh.
thank you pete. I am delighted you think of me. AT LEAST SOMEONE DOES…….:-)
sean riordan said,
February 9, 2006 at 2:12 pm
“my high-tech high spec kitchen “.
I don’t buy your questions. You’re using this post to boast about your lovely house. . And (as a human) you’re delighted that someone else passed their compliments.
Sarah said,
February 9, 2006 at 2:25 pm
Actually, you are wrong there Sean. I am houseproud. But that wasn’t the point of the post.
Gerry said,
February 9, 2006 at 5:27 pm
you haven’t got a problem with being respectable Sarah, you’ve got a problem with being boring and with being bored. We all do, hence people have affairs, drive their cars too fast and all the other pathetic things people do to stave off becoming the person we swore or hoped not to be. The secret of course is to embrace being boring, or at least less concerned with the appearance of being boring. Living in El Rancho in the Dad’s plot in Enfield isn’t rock and roll Sarah but it’s not all of you, now is it, depite the appearnces?.
Sarah said,
February 9, 2006 at 6:06 pm
hmmm…”The secret of course is to embrace being boring, or at least less concerned with the appearance of being boring.” This makes sense. The general theme of people worrying about appearances is that they worry that they DON’T appear respectable/boring. So I simply stop worrying about the appearance of being respectable/boring and just get on with it. That’s fair enough.
eoin said,
February 10, 2006 at 9:49 am
Dare to be dull!
Pete said,
February 10, 2006 at 10:11 am
> hence people have affairs, drive their cars too fast
Or smoke the occassional joint.
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Karen said,
February 10, 2006 at 2:15 pm
> a) if I am respectable why don’t I feel it
Do you believe people will respect you for your possessions?
When I show people something expensive that I own, the intention is to inspire envy and insecurity in the other party. When it works it makes me feel a little better about myself.I may be a shallow shite but at least I have da bling and you don’t.
Spending 40K on a kitchen is hardlly proof of your finer qualities.
Auctioneer is a euphemism for estate agent, the least respected profession on earth. Combining this job with being a local politician is beautiful, like the murderer who takes up part time grief counselling.
I think you may have OCD.
I find you very attractive.
danny said,
February 11, 2006 at 3:33 pm
Gosh, did your kitchen really cost 40 grand? do you have an aga?
I know a lot of the men flirt with you on this website, but i am rich, married and hopelessly in lust with you, is that a crime?
Sarah said,
February 11, 2006 at 8:01 pm
well, actually it cost €33k INCLUDING all the appliances (like a 2k extractor fan etc) and the units in the utility room etc. The granite alone accounts for about 6k of that. However, I did wonder where “Karen” got her figure from (I did wonder about her hostility too). Either she made it up, or she knows me and the 33k figure got exagerrated up to 40k.
I swore I wouldn’t but i feel compelled to answer her points:
1. Do you believe people will respect you for your possessions? [No. They are for me and to help me entertain people which will give them some temporary happiness which makes me happy.]
2. When I show people something expensive that I own, the intention is to inspire envy and insecurity in the other party. When it works it makes me feel a little better about myself.I may be a shallow shite but at least I have da bling and you don’t. [eh, so not me. I dread making anyone feel envious and usually end up apologising and explaining away my things and pointing out the flaws].
3. Spending 40K on a kitchen is hardlly proof of your finer qualities. [not sure where you got the 40k and what I do spend I have not claimed to be evidence of any quality other than a combination of luck, hard work and good (if perhaps unoriginal) taste.]
4. Auctioneer is a euphemism for estate agent, the least respected profession on earth. [ hmmm I thought lawyers competed for that spot]. Combining this job with being a local politician is beautiful, like the murderer who takes up part time grief counselling. [perhaps if you are corrupt, but if you are one of the most honest men in Ireland (like my Dad), its actually a bit of nuisance because everyone (well horrible bitter people) assumes you are a crook anyway.]
5. I think you may have OCD. [well, I have occasionally wondered about that, but don't think so]
6. I find you very attractive. [is this supposed to be a little mind f*ck? hmmm]
As for Danny, being rich and in lust with me is not a crime. Unfortunately being married is, sort of. Shame really. Where were you (and all the others) when I was open to offers?
Outraged of New York, New York said,
February 11, 2006 at 9:56 pm
Sarah,
just why do you think it is “respectable” to turn your home into a kitchen showroom?! Just why did you invite strangers in to see your formica and pine?
This does not seem to be the act of a respectable person!
Harumph!!!!
Daniel said,
February 12, 2006 at 5:33 pm
When you were single alas I was away first travelling and then in Frankfurt, where I met and married my wife. Still I contend that it is my right as well as my privilege to have lustful thoughts about you, theres something very erotic about Fine Gael women, or am I wrong?
Sarah said,
February 12, 2006 at 6:42 pm
Well, Danny ( I keep thinking hmm is this Leon just wrecking my head?) it is indeed your right and far be it from me to deprive anyone of their lustful thoughts. Life would be very boring if we didn’t allow ourselves a little harmless entertainment. Perhaps Fine Gael women are erotic in the same way that Victorian women were. Its tempting to believe that underneath the good breeding, the fine minds and the excellent manners, there lies a whore. Unfortunately I have little evidence that this is the case, but then I suppose its the guys who pursue them who would be in a position to confirm this theory.
Sarah said,
February 12, 2006 at 6:57 pm
btw, Outraged, harrumph indeed! Formica and pine, please. I think I’ll have to get someone to take photos and put them up…
Pete said,
February 12, 2006 at 11:01 pm
God, Sarah, it’s just a kitchen, we don’t care what it looks like.
Danny, reading through the history of this blog should quickly convince you that she’s waaay too much trouble. The combination of intellect and emotion scares the hell out of me!
tom said,
February 13, 2006 at 11:28 am
i wouldn’t overstate the intellect.
it is leon sarah, nobody else could write the line “theres something very erotic about fine gael women”.
Leon said,
February 13, 2006 at 12:49 pm
I’m not Danny. If I was into that sort of thing I’d go for the jugular PD baby PD.
Frankly Fine Gael, Fianna Fail, ICP some of us have to take what we can get.
Fine Gael are weak, they have abandoned Flanagan; they have forsaken the dark side.
Does the 33k include walls windows etc. or is it purely KITCHEN stuff.
Sarah said,
February 13, 2006 at 1:01 pm
No walls, no windows. It’s the units (and the kitchen is big so there are a lot), glass cabinets (with cool lights in them) sinks, taps (they were 400 each) (I had no idea they were that expensive until they actually went in – I had avoided looking at the price too closely since I nearly fainted when I was told what the total price was). (But they are REALLY cool, you can pull them out of the fitting like a shower hose and stretch them which is dead handy when filling buckets or something. And they have different streams, also like a shower. The granite, the fittings in the drawers (I ADORE the beech floors in the drawers with the wooden pegs, so you can pull out a drawer and its got all the plates neatly stacked and they don’t fall over – no rooting in the back of a press). The drawers don’t bang btw, they are on some spring system. The pot drawers have compartments and you can just lift out the saucepans really easily. The utility presses have cool baskets and hooks for putting all the cleaning stuff on and a special holder for the hoover snake so it doesn’t keep falling out. Love that.
Then fridge, hob, extractor fan, double oven, washing machine, drier, dishwasher. It’s kinda like this.. http://www.alno.com/270.1.html. I have to say, after 10 years of struggling around tiny apartment kitchens and not being able to do loads of things, I absolutely adore my kitchen. And given that I spend a LOT of time in it, I think this is a good thing. I do admit when I found out how much the modern kitchen costs I was horrified, but fuckit, I made choices. This was one of the ones I don’t regret.
Leon said,
February 13, 2006 at 1:15 pm
You have a nice kitchen but spending 400 on taps (each tap?) is wrong wrong wrong. Far from being respectable you are decadent in the extreme.
Feel better?
Sarah said,
February 13, 2006 at 1:28 pm
YES! It is outrageous isn’t it? Thrill of the forbidden. Imagine spending on money on something you don’t actually NEED!
Pete said,
February 13, 2006 at 2:36 pm
Time = Money. How much of your time (or someone else’s) did you spend paying for those taps? Not to mention the whole kitchen? Don’t forget to include the interest if you borrowed the money, or the tax you had to pay on the money before you got to spend it. I usually find that a quick, scary calculation like this stops me from buying anything I don’t need. Doesn’t stop my wife though
danny said,
February 14, 2006 at 11:54 am
I’m not Leon, but I like his trenchant analysis. He’s obviously subsuming his feelings for you. Pete, if Intellect and emotion scare you then go down to Stringfellows! It’s just that in Sarah which drives my passion (and her extraordinary good looks and sex appeal).
What is wrong with decadent? Strictly speaking each human being gets decadent day after day.
Sarah said,
February 14, 2006 at 12:12 pm
LOL. Just what a girl needs on Valentine’s Day! Now Danny, what would you know about my good looks? Unless you know me (and should therefore obliged to reveal yourself) I could be the plainest little pig in Ireland.
Decadent is always wonderful at the time but sooner or later comes back to slap you very hard in the face. It’s so annoying….
danny said,
February 14, 2006 at 12:19 pm
I haven’t conversed with you but I did have the pleasure of seeing your excellent performance on Questions and answers last year, or a year and a half ago wasn’t it?
Sarah said,
February 14, 2006 at 12:24 pm
oh yes, my hair was much admired…it was big at that time.
danny said,
February 14, 2006 at 12:34 pm
You should see my wifes hair, HUGE. But in a nice way.
Sarah said,
February 14, 2006 at 12:38 pm
at the risk of pissing off Ben I will venture the theory that men like big hair (on the head). I cut mine short once. I got a lot of grief even though I loved it. One guy said “are you deiliberately trying to make yourself unattractive?”
danny said,
February 14, 2006 at 1:01 pm
hmmm. I think a woman should do what she wants with her hair. I had big hair in the late 80’s and it was a bitch to keep clean. However 99 % of men prefer long hair, not that that is important……….
Pete said,
February 14, 2006 at 4:01 pm
Danny,
>combination of intellect and emotion scares the hell out of me!
Irony!!!
But you’re right about Stringfellows being the place for those who can’t deal with intellect and emotion.