12.26.05

Christmas report

Posted in Sunday Times Columns at 9:50 pm by Sarah

Well, we did the nativity play. It was a riot. Multi-generational family members assembled at our front gate at 4pm and belted out a tuneless but enthusiastic and upbeat version of Silent Night. The “set” had been prepared. The front and back doors and windows of my parent’s house had signs over them saying “B&B – No Vacancies”, “Inn FULL”, “Rooms €100 per night” etc. The “stable” was a corner of the hayshed. We had cows and sheep in situ and bails of hay. A roof was an old palate with branches of a fir tree over it. A really tacky flashing coloured star of David swung from the rafters. The manger was a baby bath lined with sheepskin and straw on the floor and all around. 90% of the cast members wore towels on their heads, except for the wise men who had bathrobes and coloured hats. My 2 year old refused to co-operate and screamed when the tea towel was put near his head. Sigh.

Mother narrated the rhyming story. Mary got into the go-cart and Joseph pushed her to the Front Door and knocked loudly. A REALLY cranky innkeeper (with a tea towel on his head) opened the door and shouted at them to read the sign! There was NO room. He slammed the door in their faces. As the innkeeper was my Dad, revelling in his role and the Joseph was 6, it was quite funny. Doubled up we followed the go-cart to the back door and waited while poor Joseph tried again. After a lightning costume change (different towel), Dad opened the door and indignantly refused a room. Running out of doors we ran round the front again. Another towel and even tho the 3rd innkeeper was supposed to be the nice one, the order to try the shed, was very grumpily delivered. Mary and Joseph promised to pray for him.

We set off down the yard to the shed. Mary “rested” in the hay and our Lord’s birth was duly announced. My 11month old wrapped in a sheet was laid in the manger. He was a star. Lay there for the next 10 minutes calmly receiving wise men and shepherds and only looking slightly perplexed when we belted out a racy “away in a manger”. The sheep even ba’aaed on cue. Total success and I think we’ll be repeating it. We might even rehearse next year. I think this could grow. The video was hilarious. My mascara smudged.

Christmas presents! Hurrah! He must have read my list. Well part of it anyway.
1. A cheque made out to Inchydoney for €200. Politically I hate this place. On some of their rates they quote the price, but then in small writing have a “service” charge added on. Why not just list the bloody rate? However, the place looks amazing and he will be doing a lot of work in Cork over the next few months so its a perfect opportunity.
2. A voucher for BT’s for €100. Double hurrah! New knickers! Definitely cannot wait. After the years of pregnancies and weight fluctuations, I started refurbishing some months ago, but a new injection was seriously needed. I might do very nicely in the sales.
3. Half hurrah. €20 voucher for Waterstones BUT he was trying to buy this book but it’s not due in for another few weeks. He felt it would be appropriate for me. I think it is.

So I am very happy.

In case you are wondering what I got him I should explain that despite all my orders to others, I have absolutely no idea what he likes and have bought disastrous presents in the past. Actually I’m not very good with presents at all. I always buy people things that I would love; it never occuring to me that they might not share my taste. Shirts which I thought were fab that stayed in the wardrobe for 2 years before a grudging display. Boring golf and ski things which broke. I won’t go into the one about the voucher for a colonic, which needless to say remained unused. It seemed funny at the time. ANYWAY, he loves watching TOTP2, the old Top of the Pops programmes. He’s in love with nostalgia SO I got him the DVD set of Live AID, not Live 8, the 1985. He seemed genuinely pleased with it. We didn’t start watching it yet. But I am sure we will. I know in monetary terms I did better than him but who’s counting?

Final note, I should also like to say that during our courting years, he did get me the earrings, bracelet, necklace, dress watch, day watch and hurrah! the ring! So he doesn’t have to get those for a while.

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