An Irish woman’s social, political and domestic commentary
Holiers
Am off to live it up in the south of France for two weeks so all will be quiet in blog land. Only disadvantage is that I won’t be here to protest against the Bush visit. And when I come back either Ahern or Suds could be president of the EU. Still, if it’s either, I would have to confess to some pride, if incredulity.
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How quickly things change
You go to bed and Bertie Ahern is just a corner boy from Drumcondra with poor diction and worse taste who through conniving and cunning managed to be Taoiseach of our little banana republic and who also just got a good kicking (as Bliar would say) in the elections. You wake up and he is an international diplomatic hero. I don’t know….
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Nigerian fraudsters
Looks like a gang are thwarting the attempts of the nice people who offered me the $25m. From today’s NYT:
“Now, however, an ad hoc militia of self-styled counterscammers on several continents is taking the fight directly to the thieves. Aiming to outwit the swindlers, they invent elaborate and often outrageous identities (Venus de Milo, Lord Vader) under which they engage the con men, trying to humiliate them and, more important, waste the grifters’ time and resources.
They then chronicle the exploits, documented by elaborate e-mail exchanges, at sites like Scamorama (www.scamorama.com). They also gather financial and technical information about the fraud artists, who are sometimes part of broader criminal networks, and refer their findings to law enforcement officials. Some of the antifraud efforts even appear to straddle the bounds of legality: disabling fake bank Web sites used to dupe the unwitting, or breaking into swindlers’ e-mail accounts to warn victims already on the hook.
Part vigilante patrol, part neighborhood watch, part comedy troupe, the counterscammers are trying to beat the thieves of the Internet at their own game. And they certainly appear to enjoy doing it.”
More here
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Electoral registers
An update on this: I did suspect and have just had it confirmed that in addition to the personation agent’s marked register, candidates are also entitled to get the polling clerk’s register (i.e. the officially marked one) to see who voted. They have to sign something to say they won’t use it for malevolent purposes but that’s about the only restriction.
Feedback from throughout the country confirms that unsuspecting voters and non-voters are being confronted for their treachery. Also some info on polling stations where inattentive polling clerks failed to stamp ballot papers resulting in some spoiled ballots (5 no. 1′s for my father were ditched for this reason). I always check each of my ballots to make sure they’ve been stamped.
In conference with the family we agree that prior to the next election we should write to voters in the area urging them to:
- ensure their papers are stamped
- turn up in plenty of time (some were turned away when they got in at the last minute)
- write nothing on the ballot paper except for their votes. Some people are under the impression that if they vote 1, 2, 3 as normal but write “Michael McDowell is a fascist wanker” on their paper that the vote will count as there is a clear preference. However, this vote is in fact spoiled since a distinguishing mark has been made on the paper which could be used to identify it in a case of voter intimidation. Since nothing must threaten the secrecy of the ballot (which to be fair we have already demonstrated is pretty shaky anyway) the vote is spoiled.
- Vote, 1,2,3 not x, x, x, (amazing the number of people who still do this; altho’ one x does count since there is a clear preference).
- Finally it is so important to vote pretty far down the line, only leaving out the person you definitely don’t want in. In my father’s case, a traditional FF voter might vote 1,2,3 only for FF candidates and leave it at that. But when those votes have been counted and a surplus remains to be distributed that voter might prefer that anyone but a Sinn Feiner (or Green or single issue protest Independent type) be elected. Therefore they should continue voting 4, 5, and 6 for FG, Labour candidates. In our case, the Da was elected with 7′s and 8′s. The worst vote is a 1 for either a popular candidate or a total loser. Without further preferences that vote is binned after the first count while others get to see their vote re-used several times.
A final word on PR by STV. Think how different the US administration would be if all the liberal fools who voted for Nader could have availed of PR? Nader would be eliminated and his no. 2′s would have gone to Gore and secured him election. As it is, while no one is entitled to a vote, the first past the post people are faced with a stark choice -compromise or lose heavily. Which they did in ’00. Hopefully they will have learned their lesson.
Sopranos
Oh God. Made huge mistake. Having completed my last post I idly checked into Slate because I’d heard they have an excellent Sopranos forum. First article made reference to XXXXXXXXXXX. Damn damn damn. Ruined the suspense. Exited immediately but now panicking. What do they do XXXXXXX? It always was going to be problematical. Still, will be making sure not to miss an episode. Oh no….holidays next week. I’ll be leaving the country. I never learned how to tape. I must know someone who knows how to tape. This is the 3rd millenium. Or have all my gadget enabled friends thrown out their vcr’s and rely exclusively on dvd. Do dvd’s record? Phone calls to make….
(XXXXX – edits inserted due to uproar by readers – apologies to those already exposed to plot line)
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We near the end of series 5 here in RTE land. It saddens me to admit that for the first time Tony has done something which has really disappointed me. Janice, (Livia mark II) has attended anger management classes. Typically she has embraced the lessons with the same fervour she embraced Buddhism, Christianity, Richie etc. Yet, this time she’s actually done something really positive and it’s working. Barely; but enough to get some harmony back into the home. Tony meanwhile, is less able than ever to control his rage. After 5 years of therapy you have to wonder what progress he’s made. Anyway, he’s clearly jealous of Janice and at Sunday dinner sets out to provoke her by touching her most sensitive nerve – her relationship with the absent son, Harpo. He keeps at it ’till she breaks and after losing her temper dissolves into tears. Tony leaves and he is diminished in my view.
The murders, the gambling, the adultery, somehow I can excuse. It’s part of the package. But she was trying and he ruined her because he knew if she could exercise self-control, it made his failure to do so all the weaker.
Very bad. Where will it all end?
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Local elections (II)
How does the Taliban identify the traitors you ask? Easy. Part of our wonderful system is that each party is allowed to have a personation agent at the polling station. They are allowed to challenge voters about their identification (very important especially as the Shinners are so adept at collecting polling cards). They have a register and mark off everyone who votes just as the polling clerks do. Afterwards the party holds onto the register and compares it to the tally. As the boxes are quite small and every one knows everyone its pretty easy to figure out what way people have voted. Admittedly this is really only possible in a rural area and the practice will no doubt diminish as the population increases and becomes more anonymous. But we can still go through the list and pick out the FG voters and figure out who voted what way. For example in our own box we can immediately count all the family votes, loyal workers, good neighbours etc. You’re usually left with about 10 or 12 you’re not sure of, and if the doubtful parties can’t look you in the eye when they meet you on the street, you can be sure you’ve got your man/woman/traitor. Traditionally the information is also used to identify to a party what areas they need to do more work in. In an urban area you can identify a group of streets where the vote for a candidate was particularly low. You can be sure those streets will get special attention from the party in the next few years. One of the reasons e-voting was unpopular was because it would impossible to get this information since only the total votes would be announced, and the box opening and its treasures of info would be gone.
To address PO’Neill’s question; true. The only advantage that e-voting had was that after the first count the entire vote of a candidate could be counted very quickly and the surplus distributed proportionally and therefore fairly. Bizarrely the government decided to retain the practice of randomly selecting the surplus and distributing it. As anyone in software knows, computers don’t do random well and if they did make a mistake (e.g. select the surplus entirely from one box) a recount is impossible. At least with paper random you get genuine random.
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Local elections
We’re in our 3rd day of counting and the glories of the paper ballot reveal themselves once more. How could anyone contemplate taking away this amazing experience from the people? The headlines first: Bill Carey (FG) (my esteemed father) scrapes in on the last count (8) with transfers from the surplus of his local FF arch enemy. Unfortunately the one nice FF candidate is edged out by an evil independent. So evil that as a Trim Urban Councillor, he sued his own council for compensation when he ‘slipped’ on the road.
But how quickly the traditional camps form and reform with unexpected allies. As suspected, when the boxes are opened and I am standing there to observe the papers come out of each box, the level of treachery from Carey’s own running mate is apparent. They had split the constituency between them. Higgins for the town of Trim, my father to take the rural votes. As the rural boxes are opened and eagle-eyed we call out the number one votes, all is revealed. Of 65 Fine Gael votes in Ballivor, 50 go to my father, and 15 to Higgins. Who are the 15 voting for Higgins? The pattern is repeated in several other boxes. They’re supposed to vote for my father. The fools think that they will not be found out. But the Taliban, our local branch of fundamentalist Fine Gael workers will acquire the register of those who voted. Those who didn’t vote at all will be on hit list no. 1. But the traitors who did vote and voted for the wrong guy will be quickly identified and hunted down and form hit list no. 2. No pity for them if they need a planning permission or to be prioritised on the housing list!
But there is more….Sinn Fein we note with horror are polling very well. Everyone; FF, FG, and Labour unite in disgust. Nothing by thugs, waving the tricolour around. That’s OUR flag, why do they get to wave it in victory when counts are announced? Scum. Unfortunately they do what others have failed to do. Politicise the socially alienated. They canvass where others have refused to go and now they reap the rewards. Vigilantism over law and order. Still, at least in South Meath they are headed off. But only by the aforementioned independent. People really do get the public representatives they deserve.
So at 3am on Saturday night as the count is postponed until Sunday, my mother, tally leader, does some quick calculations. Mental arithmethic is her forte. There is a surplus of 266 to be distributed. Half will be non-transferable. Murray is a rural candidate. The town based Independent therefore will get less transfers. The rural Labour candidate is still in the running and only 14 votes behind my father who is 60 behind the Independent. Two seats left. If half the votes are transferred 2:2:1 then my father should stay the 14 votes ahead of Labour. As the no. 7′s and 8′s are awarded to my father, and FF are terrified of a rural Labour candidate, suddenly the old enemies are friends and even the Minister down to supervise is rooting for my Dad. By 1pm the next day the results are announced. He’s 16 votes ahead. Labour call for a recount but no one worries. The counts are always pretty accurate. He’s in again. 5 more years. That’ll take him to about 45 years as a councillor. A lifetime of public service. Not bad really.
But that’s just the results. The count itself is like a 3 day intensive racing meeting. The party workers get to stand there and watch every vote being counted and the implications of the 7′s and 8′s become clear. A romance blossomed. New friendships are forged. And people say its expensive? The public are spending money around the town on food and drink. The counters are paid handsomely and that money will go into the local economy. Surely economists would approve of the money being distributed. Where would electronic voting money go? To programmers in Amsterdam? The Irish Independent bitched last week that councillors cost the state €116m last year. But the government blew €50m on e-voting that got flushed down the toilet. I think its cheap.
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Thoughts for the day
Reagan everywhere. When I start to feel sentimental and warm, ‘cos he was a nice guy really, I just have to think: Iran/Contra and Star Wars – he never quite grasped it wouldn’t work. Never let human rights get in the way of keepin Marxists out of government in Central America. And it was pretty obvious the Alzheimers had set in a lot earlier than ’94. Still, watching old footage, you do realise what a gifted communicator he was and why he was so popular; the shots of Gorbachev arriving in Geneva being the most iconic for me. Gorbachev was so much younger, but in his grey coat and scarf he looked 20 years older than Reagan who bounced down the steps to greet him in a suit and tan. Also it makes you realise what a dundering fool is in the Oval Office now.
Polls close in the the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland today; ours open tomorrow. Reports of a dismal turnout in the North tally with my anecdotal evidence. Of my hubby’s 10 immediate family members – 2 voted – the parents. And to think that 30 years ago the Stormont government was refusing housing for Catholics as only householders/owners could vote in elections. That’s what ‘the Troubles’ was all about. Does affluence negate democracy? It would appear so. John Bruton did say throughout the 90′s that people would continue to vote for Fianna Fail as they (the people) (and FF of course) had money in their pockets. People only get interested in politics and an opposition when they run out of cash. Perhaps a little recession would persuade the middle class Catholics to appreciate why 3,000 people died in our recent past.
Finally, the Labour government continue to defend postal voting. I’m firmly with the Australians when it comes to voting. Given the number of people who suffered and died throughout the world for the right to vote, it should be a crime NOT to vote. Instead Bliar tries to make it easier for people to do so by experimenting with the postal vote. The obvious happened. The post was delayed, people who don’t care just throw the papers in the bin anyway and the way is clear for intimidation and fraud. There are several advantages to a polling booth. Identification of the voter is simple and the secrecy of the ballot is preserved. With the postal vote and nasties like the BNP around, its very easy to nick ballot papers or insist on watching someone fill their’s out. I say, round them all up and frogmarch them to the polling stations. They are within 5 minutes of their homes and it takes maximum 10 minutes. Is that so hard? Isn’t that why Reagan thought it was important to defeat the Evil Empire?
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Business Venture
Great news! A Mrs Femia Bangura got in touch with me today. I think my ship may finally have come in. She says
“I have a substantial capital I honorably intend to invest in your country into a very lucrative venture of which you are to advise and execute the said venture over there for the mutual benefits of both of us. Your able co-operation is to become my business partner in your country and create ideas on how money will be invested, probably managed and the type of investment after the money is transferred to your custody with your assistance.”
And as if this wasn’t enough, Mike Oro mailed me 5 times with this exciting opportunity!!
“Four months Ago I led a three man Audit panel to balance the books of the Apex Bank
(national Bank of Nigeria) In the course of our duties we discovered that the sum of (us $25,000,000) Million (Twenty five million U.S.Dollars) has been lying in a suspense
account With the Apex Bank (NBN) since 1998 without Beneficiary.
Further investigation reveals that this sum accumulated as a result of over invoiced executed contracts influenced by past Retired Military government personnel?s and was unclaimed due to transformation of new democratic government after careful deliberations, we (my colleagues and I) unanimously agreed to transfer this sum of (us $ 25,000,000) out of Nigeria for investment purposes. Hence we are seeking your assistance and co-operation to achieve this goal.
We have put all modalities in place to apply for the transfer of this fund to you or your company as contract payment having completed a contract we purportedly awarded to you.
…If you are interested, please contact me urgently on the number above so that I will give you directive on who to contact in Nigeria for the procurement of all the legal papers needed and the approvals for the release of this fund with a documents evidence of the contract executed to enable you collect this payment draft here.
The negotiation of your share should be discussed later.
I look forward to your prompt reply.”
If its dirty money, sure what’s the harm in taking a cut. I don’t have to do anything..just give these guys my bank account details..what can go wrong???
What a day!
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